What would you say if you knew you would die within 5 minutes?

I would call my kids. I would want them to know how much I love and care for them.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sweety!”

“Hi daddy!”

“I was just calling you to tell you I love you!”

“I love you too daddy!”

Now, at this point you dont want to give away that you MIGHT die, so, just in case, you want to assure them of their future without alarming them.

“You know, you’re a wonderful girl, and you ride horses so beautifully!”

“Thank you daddy! You are going to the show this weekend aren’t you?”

“Um… yes sweetie, I am. And I know you’ll do…”

“Granny says I cant ride Gilly.”

“…well, okay…”

“I’m gonna ride Doc.”

“Doc is good…”

“Granny says Gilly is bat shit crazy.”

“SWEETIE! you shouldn’t say that…”

“Well, Granny said it. And he is, Daddy.”

“Yeah, but…”

“You wanna talk to brother?”

“Sure, but I want you to know I love you…”

“I love you too, Daddy, I think brother is asleep.”

“Well, dont wake him…”

“BROTHER!!!!! It’s Daddy, he wants to talk to you – I love you Daddy, here he is…”

” ‘lo?”

“Hey boy, just thought I’d call and tell you I love you.”

” ‘K.”

…………..silence……………..

“Um, everything alright boy?”

“Yeup.”

” ‘K. I love you…”

“Buddy got hurt really bad.”

“He’s a dog, he’ll be okay if he isn’t… dead…”

“His legs are all cut up.”

“Where is he now? Did your mom take him to the vet?”

“He’s in my bed.”

“Is your mom gonna take him to the vet?”

“He’s not bleeding, but he cant lay down unless I help him.”

“Did your mom take him to the vet?”

“I think he got in a fight with the other dogs.”

“You know I love you boy, right?”

“Sometimes they get out of the fence.”

“Well, I’m sorry about your dog, I just wanted to tell you I love you.”

” ‘k, love you.”

So now you’re thinking you need to let your mom know you love her.

“Mom! I just called to tell you I love you!”

“I love you too! I’m so glad you called. The computer is saying something about ‘full mailbox’, I need you to look at it.”

“Just delete the stuff in your trash bin, Mom.”

“I’ll just wait until you get here this weekend.”

And you think maybe you should tell your roommate.

“Dude, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your taking me in and helping me out.”

“WhatEVER. You left the freakin sugar open again.”

What about your job?

“I was just calling to let you know there might be a chance I wont be in today…”

“are you sick?”

“Maybe…”

“so you’re not sick?”

“maybe…”

And then maybe you call your closest friends…

“Hi! Leave a message at the tone…”

And so you’re left with yourself.

Man, what about all the stuff you wanted to do? You keep screaming that you’ve got this great idea for a movie. And what about the barefoot windjammer cruise you told that girlfriend 20 years ago you were breaking up with her over because you knew she hated water? What about fixing your credit? What about crystal clear cold winter nights? What about windy spring days? And the 2 beers you left in the fridge? Roomy wont drink PBR. Oh hell, Roomy is gonna have to go thru’ your stuff. Better hide the…

the…

URK